Ant Invasion 2009

My husband belongs to a religion that is some sort of offshoot of christian science. In his religion, let's call it appliance voodoo, mechanical devices that are broken can magically be fixed through the power of negative thought and laying on of hands (or feet). For example, if the ice machine is not making ice, you can pound on it and mutter "goddamn piece of shit ice maker" and then ignore it for several months as it heals itself. When the cable/phone/internet go out (which happens with some regularity) he just walks away and hopes for the best as it usually does eventually come back on. The other day we were driving and his car was making a weird noise and he seriously said "well they can't expect me to notice that so it must not be something major." While I concede that the power of prayer can be quite strong, I have never seen an appliance miraculously heal itself no matter how much holy water from Lourdes you splash on it.

So this brings us to last week, the day I arrived home from being gone for 10 days with the child to visit my family. My husband had set the dog's dish on the counter to get the dog some food and it had been on the counter about a minute when I notice it is covered in ants. I grab the bowl and throw it on the back porch and say "there are ants all over in here." This is weird because we never leave food out and always wash the dishes right after we use them. My husband responds by saying "yeah, they've been all over for about a week." And what did he do about this problem? A little bit of insect voodoo or, nothing. Not only that, he never even mentioned it to me when we talked on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY I was gone. I have a bunch of ant traps so really all he needed to do was open a few and put them out. But hey, then we wouldn't have had the whole circle of insect life discussion with my daughter. She noticed one of the traps and asked what it was so I told her simply "it makes the ants go away" since I wasn't sure I wanted to get into the whole death and killing ants discussion. The hilarious thing is what she said, she nodded her head and said "that's a good idea." Yes, even a 2 year old can see that when you have ants, you should make them go away.

In case you ever have an ant problem, the Terro Ant killer totally works. And they are not toxic to humans or animals. So there's your thing that doesn't suck for today.