The most frustrating part of parenthood

You know what I find most difficult about parenthood? All the assembly required.  It starts with the crib and next thing you know you're in a death spiral of activity seats, jumparoos, and play kitchens.  As far as I'm concerned the main selling point of Craigslist is that the shit is already put together.  

My parents got Ellie this little car for her birthday.  Nothing fancy (that is, it does not have battery power and she must use her fat little feet for power).  It finally arrived today and seriously, the feeling of dread I had when I heard all the parts rattling in the box then opened the box to see that it was indeed worse than I expected was not dissimilar from the feeling I had that one time I hit a pedestrian.*

If you are thinking of buying this toy (and really, it's a fun little thing) and do not have the good fortune to score an already assembled one, let me share a few things with you.  Little Tikes should probably update their instructions to include these as well.

1. There are no fewer than 10,000 parts.  You will have approximately 300 leftover parts when you are finished.  As far as I can tell, those parts are extraneous.
2. Tools required: someone with an engineering degree, preferably from MIT.
3. Assembly time: if you have the proper tools (see #3), maybe 1/2 an hour.  If not, about 4 hours.  
4. Your toddler is going to learn lots of new dirty words during the assembly process.
5. If you choose to assemble the car when your toddler is around, add another 2 hours to the assembly time as you will be spending lots of time trying to find the car that your toddler has been dragging in a loop around the kitchen/dining room/living room though you've only gotten 2 of the wheels on the car.
6. If you are potty training your toddler then add another 1/2 hour to the assembly process when you go clean up Ms. Poopy Pants.
7. Make a mental note to request Amish fully assembled toys for birthday #3.

*I hit a pedestrian once when he jumped in front of my car.  When the police arrived he was lying in the street barking.  Much to my relief several neighbors arrived on the scene to inform the police that (a) this guy's pastime was jumping in front of cars (b) the barking was a pre-impact activity.  He was in fact not injured and went quickly back to his car diving ways.