Big Gosselin news

So apparently Jon and Kate have a big announcement on their show on Monday. I've been wracking my brain all day - I've been letting the toddler survive on pixie sticks and juice boxes all day while I ruminate over WHAT that darn announcement could be. My leading theories:

1. Jon and Kate are turning their kids over to the Duggars who are quoted as saying "18 kids, 26 kids, it's all the same to us" and they all jump into the RV and head off to Dollywood.
2. In a freakish turn of events, Iran's ruling religious panel discloses that the vote recount reveals that Jon is in fact the new president of Iran. Sadly Kate cannot accompany him to his new job because her razor sharp spikes of hair in the back keep piercing the requisite head scarf.
3. Jon and Kate divorce. Kate remarries a man with 8 children of his own whose wife left him to star in a traveling cabaret act. They have a new reality show starring all 16 kids. Hilarity ensues on the wedding day when the family dogs knock over the wedding cake.
4. Jon and Kate are leaving their show. New reality show starring me will begin airing. First riveting episode will follow me over the last two nights when I am awakened by random night-time beeping and replace all smoke detector batteries only to finally discover that it's the carbon monoxide detector. Which is plugged in so, really, must you wake me in the middle of the night to tell me your BACKUP power source is in danger when the primary is just fine?