Monday, May 4, 2009

What is the proper protocol for this?

I was going through a pile of stuff that needed to be filed and I came across the pictures of our embryo transfer.  A picture of the two embryos and bunch of my uterus as they did the transfer (why I would need pictures of that god only knows).  I threw away the uterus pics but then wondered what I should do with the embryo pics?  Do I toss them?  Like when they gave me ultrasound pictures after telling me that I had a non-viable pregnancy.  Are those for my scrapbook of failure?  Thanks, I know just where I'll mount them, next to 850 pictures of negative pregnancy tests.  

My favorite show these days is In Treatment.  It kind of makes me think I need to get myself some therapy.  Because while on a day to day basis I think I'm doing pretty well, a thought of "I should have a new baby right now" or "I should be pregnant right now" will bubble up and I question how well I'm really doing.  The thing is we can't do anything further on the infertility treatment front until somebody gets a job.  So it's just hanging out there, no closure, no resolution, no plan of action to look forward to.  That's probably why I'm feeling this way, because for the first time since we started trying to have a baby nearly 6 years ago I don't have a roadmap.  I'm just driving aimlessly.  I'm trying to come up with something else to focus on and look forward to, most likely it'll be a marathon because that's my thing.  Getting pregnant and staying pregnant, clearly not my thing.

Has anyone gone to therapy for infertility related stuff? Do you think it's a good idea?  How do you find a good therapist? More importantly, how do you find a therapist who has Gabriel Byrne's brogue and awesomeness?


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